Losing love

Finding you at night blue shores

of coral coloured waters

no one in sight truly

but in spirit invisibly.

Encounters in early morning rays

mirror a love sent from space

in moon blue of the ocean waves

I feel a soul from past life ways.

Seeing him in being seen

perceived as what I am

no one has ever been

more beautiful than him.

Heartbeats meet, embrace,

words touch me in ways, unknown,

has he been maybe just as much

as I have been alone?

Growing from different worlds

we exchange petals in all colours,

hands found he unfolds

the flower of love in all layers.

 

Held in highest frequency

stealing peace blue black fractals,

overtaking energies

make me harm my family.

Biting winds burn our faces

blinded I lose your flowers,

all colour gone, carried away

I run home to go astray.

Heaven breaks, stars start sinking,

spinning dark adheres,

heart’s attacked, black fog’s rising

in waves of overpowering fears.

Pillars of dazzling lightnings

tear free from unknown source within,

forces battle inside out,

from outside in, ongoing, shaking.

 

Morning hours, veil is lifted -

puzzling voices, breathless talk,

hidden beings manifested

take me for a restless walk.

Orders only I can hear

force lies on my loved ones

bridges break, I can’t share,

who I am, who I’ve become.

Taken in, hands bound, not free,

alien realms, outer worlds

create a me that I will be

in a new born reality.

 

Loss of free will, regain of love,

with ease they change my energies

now in purple petal frequencies

you and me, connected us.

Vision waves sweep me away

rising high, refracting light,

I swim in rainbow tinted seas,

become a manta, speak to trees.

Like flying birds your words come through

brushing me out of the blue.

In thousand leaves I feel your hand

in all I’m in, through all I went.

Your shape of light against the dark

beneath a night tree in that park

walks a dream under our stars,

aligning jupiter with mars.

I could be forever

in spirit with you, no matter

what the world might hold for us

in 12th house space we’d be pure love.

 

Fate speaks, nothing lasts.

Grey veils draw torn sketches

in skys of hidden suns,

I don’t see the rising storm

silent, breaking horizons,

sky and ocean merge in blackness,

demons crawl up from my abyss.

Looking for light I find raw danger

for you, for me, for our future,

life’s at stake, decision made,

fleeing for a train to take.

Fates merged, charts prevailed

intertwining snakes

create a plan already failed

fate's rewritten, all paths at stake.

False games by trusted friends, charades

lay bare crumbling facades.

Still hope attached I see figures

screamed through spirit, believe shatters.

Contorted faces, enraged words

hit me deep like glaring swords.

Train is missed, there is no time,

run for life, where to when blind?

Night light’s distorting my perception,

senses alert, taste of deception.

Body fights, soul gets wounded,

stars reach out from skys too clouded,

there I grab your weakening hand,

slipping through is fading sand.

 

I’m losing you in smoky mirrors

hope flies out as torn out feathers,

trembling fires of white flames

barely protect, energetic crime

brings loss of love, ends life lines.

Yet I know I’m yours already

in a new reality.

Promise given souls bond in grace,

married beyond time and space.

Wherever always will I find you

in the depth of ether’s maze.

Innumerable lifetimes though ahead

I’ll have to climb all karmic ladders,

to find you again, my dear, my love,

my only reason still to live.

The want of nights merciless

your voice, black leaves falling,

is fainting from above,

a place long lost, lovers’ past.

 

I hit ground, on the road,

man walking by, a word is shared

in a world I left, why can’t he see,

I’m fighting for infinity?

Things get lost, left on the street,

nothing’s to keep, when death greets.

Swirling skys in black moons’ light

turn white to danger, shadows hide.

Fear grabs ruthlessly my heart,

new moon, red darkness, fading chart.

Love lost, hope becomes memory

I’m shoved to the edge of what is left of me.

 

Them and me, death and life,

duality in purest form,

I know I face what we all have to,

but my soul won’t be reborn.

My final breath’s undignified,

body shaken, spirit shattered,

no after life or possibility

to find you in any reality.

Tired eyes embrace heaven,

I’ll be our stars forever soon.

Their dust of light brushing me

touches extinguished eternity.

 

Space stops whirling, time stands,

this is dying, I accept.

Of all lifetimes, all my moments,

this is the one, when it ends.

 

(Sometimes we have to face nightmares to understand what we dream of.)

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